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When Nila Brown joined the Anne Arundel County school system in Maryland, Jimmy Carter was president and Love Boat was still on television. At the time, she had just graduated and was just excited and proud to get to work with a district she loved. 42 years later, Nila can reflect back on having made a very big difference.

A few months ago, middle-school teacher Finn Lanning and 13-year-old student Damien knew each other only as teacher and student. This relationship was all normal, up until Damien approached his teacher one day and said that he wouldn’t be coming back to school.

One of the most difficult things for capable, experienced professionals to do is ask for help. It’s uncomfortable, embarrassing, and often feels like an admission of failure. But it isn’t; it’s an important skill, and mastering it is critical for students and teachers alike. Heidi Grant, a social psychologist who writes and speaks on the science of motivation, can offer us some pointers.